Time for some giggles! Enjoy.
Okay can’t let this blog sink in the deep end! Got my floaties on back to the Shallow End!
Tonight’s randomness, I shall introduce you to my youngest son Nathan. Nathan is 7, excuse me 7 & 3/4, likes to hang out in his underwear, or dress himself, ahem ‘uniquely’ to say the least, and is awesome. And not just because he’s mine, but because such a tiny human to act so “matter of fact” with the nonsense he tells you, utterly cracks me up. He’s an epic smart ass and has no idea. His future sarcasm shall be outstanding I can already tell. “He really is mine!” ❤
No, really the kid could probably convince you to buy his old underwear. Which leads to a little story.
When Nathan was in kindergarten, one day after picking him up from school, we walked in the house and I stated my typical post school mantra “hang your back pack up, go wash your hands then you can have a snack AT the TABLE.” It’s a crap shoot if I only have to say that 1-3 times or 50. That day was a 1-3 times day. I pleasantly sat on the couch looking at the papers he had brought home while I heard the toilet flush, sink running, then feet anxiously hurrying towards me.
“Mom.” “Yeah bud?” “You are not going to believe this.” “What Nathan?” “Well I went in to the bathroom and realized I had to pee before I washed my hands and LOOK!…” A single step back and he drops his shorts revealing his Spider-Man size 3 tiny butt tighty whiteys. “What am I looking at buddy?” Then Spider-Man hits the floor to reveal Spongebob tighty whiteys underneath. “Mom, I wore…TWO pairs of underwears (sic) ALL DAY.” spoken while looking at me like I was some idiotic teen and he the father pointing out my naiveness Giggling at this point; “Nathan, why did you wear two pairs of underwear today?” sigh from him“I forgot I had underwear on when I put them on this morning.””You forgot?? How do you forget that?!?” “Well maybe you shouldn’t let me watch tv when I’m getting dressed mom.”
Always mom’s fault somehow. Haha
Another great thing about Nathan; he has a henchman/evil scientist type laugh. It’s hilarious from such a cute little thing, especially when he still had curls. Here is an old clip of it I still have on my phone.
Today was “Part 1”. Today sucked. All the sleeplessness, stress, preparing, ended with a simple “do you understand Miss Daniels?” And I replied “Yes.” AND. THAT. was it. The county decided that the child support judgement can’t be defined yet. That everything is too “special circumstances” and it will now be handled in the divorce when we get to that point. Yay fun! Neither of us was ordered to pay the other anything currently in child support. The smile on his face post court made me want to punch a kitten. (Not really, but no way in hell will I put my actual thoughts of bodily harm on the “Internets” lol) but the thought of punching a kitten should let you know the equivalent.
Yet! IT’S all my own doing…??!? Why can’t I crush him like he so easily does to me?!?! Sigh, the knowing of how me screwing him over will trickle down to our boys, yet again prevents me from being the Incredible Hulk that is dying to unleash on him.
So after the Wasband got the boys late afternoon, my mother looked at me and said, let’s go have Mexican food. Game on. 2 margaritas and an enchilada, after days on really not a single substantial meal, and days of no sleep…I am in a relaxed sloth mode food coma to the extreme. I think I’m going to sleep tonight… finally… Let’s just hope it’s in my bed and not on my patio.. Again. Lol
I love to laugh and to make others laugh. Especially when you’re in a foul/blah/sad/whatever mood and then outta nowhere something cracks you up, can’t stay irked. Or at least I can’t. I also can’t hold in laughter. I am ridiculously guilty of laughing at verrrrrry inappropriate times. I sucked sitting in church as a kid, was always getting moved to the front seat in class to be shut up, and even as an adult and a mom, when my kid says something funny as hell and beyond age inappropriate, I have to walk out of the room so they don’t see me cracking up before I have to threaten their existence and turn in to “the meanest mom EVER.”
Point is, I’m a giggler and proud. When I’m bored, I put in far too much effort looking for things to make me laugh and then saving them to share with whomever. Needless to say, my collection of e-cards, funny pics, videos, sites, etc is of pretty epic standards. The more random, foul, WTF?!? inducing nonsense the better. Which I’m sure is not everyone’s cup of tea, but hey, whatever floats your boat, sorry if I offend you in advance haha. So this will be the beginning of my continuing blog section that I’ll label “FSTMMH” in short, Funny Shit That Makes Me Happy, and will be filed in the Shallow End.
And now, hope these little randoms, in no particular order, entertain you as much as they did me.