Cheddar Napalm

Annnnnd I’m back. Didn’t ever intend on going MIA, but life and laziness tend to take over for me!

With that, I have many updates to share, yet am not really in the mood to dive that deep in the pool this evening. Tonight is more a foofy drink in hand, feet dangling in the shallow end, brain fried sunburned, giddy with friends type mood. In which, I feel compelled to share the utter random nonsense/stories/thoughts/rants that run through my head. Why? Because I amuse myself and I declare it as needing to be shared with the world. I am truly a gifted individual in the power of “it would only happen to me” and I swear I don’t make this shit up. lol

Ergo, tonight I shall reminisce and share with you all the story of my culinary awakening/reality check circa 1990-92ish.

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Nathan is awesome and hates pants.

Okay can’t let this blog sink in the deep end! Got my floaties on back to the Shallow End!

Tonight’s randomness, I shall introduce you to my youngest son Nathan. Nathan is 7, excuse me 7 & 3/4, likes to hang out in his underwear, or dress himself, ahem ‘uniquely’ to say the least, and is awesome. And not just because he’s mine, but because such a tiny human to act so “matter of fact” with the nonsense he tells you, utterly cracks me up. He’s an epic smart ass and has no idea. His future sarcasm shall be outstanding I can already tell. “He really is mine!” ❤

No, really the kid could probably convince you to buy his old underwear. Which leads to a little story.

When Nathan was in kindergarten, one day after picking him up from school, we walked in the house and I stated my typical post school mantra “hang your back pack up, go wash your hands then you can have a snack AT the TABLE.” It’s a crap shoot if I only have to say that 1-3 times or 50. That day was a 1-3 times day. I pleasantly sat on the couch looking at the papers he had brought home while I heard the toilet flush, sink running, then feet anxiously hurrying towards me.

“Mom.” “Yeah bud?” “You are not going to believe this.” “What Nathan?” “Well I went in to the bathroom and realized I had to pee before I washed my hands and LOOK!…” A single step back and he drops his shorts revealing his Spider-Man size 3 tiny butt tighty whiteys. “What am I looking at buddy?” Then Spider-Man hits the floor to reveal Spongebob tighty whiteys underneath. “Mom, I wore…TWO pairs of underwears (sic) ALL DAY.” spoken while looking at me like I was some idiotic teen and he the father pointing out my naiveness Giggling at this point; “Nathan, why did you wear two pairs of underwear today?” sigh from him“I forgot I had underwear on when I put them on this morning.””You forgot?? How do you forget that?!?” “Well maybe you shouldn’t let me watch tv when I’m getting dressed mom.”

Always mom’s fault somehow. Haha

Another great thing about Nathan; he has a henchman/evil scientist type laugh. It’s hilarious from such a cute little thing, especially when he still had curls. Here is an old clip of it I still have on my phone.

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Laughing is awesome. – FSTMMH Part 1

I love to laugh and to make others laugh. Especially when you’re in a foul/blah/sad/whatever mood and then outta nowhere something cracks you up, can’t stay irked. Or at least I can’t. I also can’t hold in laughter. I am ridiculously guilty of laughing at verrrrrry inappropriate times. I sucked sitting in church as a kid, was always getting moved to the front seat in class to be shut up, and even as an adult and a mom, when my kid says something funny as hell and beyond age inappropriate, I have to walk out of the room so they don’t see me cracking up before I have to threaten their existence and turn in to “the meanest mom EVER.”

Point is, I’m a giggler and proud. When I’m bored, I put in far too much effort looking for things to make me laugh and then saving them to share with whomever. Needless to say, my collection of e-cards, funny pics, videos, sites, etc is of pretty epic standards. The more random, foul, WTF?!? inducing nonsense the better. Which I’m sure is not everyone’s cup of tea, but hey, whatever floats your boat, sorry if I offend you in advance haha. So this will be the beginning of my continuing blog section that I’ll label “FSTMMH” in short, Funny Shit That Makes Me Happy, and will be filed in the Shallow End.

And now, hope these little randoms, in no particular order, entertain you as much as they did me.
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It has begun… Queue the dramatic music.

Howdy. I’m Trish.

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Let me introduce myself a little bit. I am a 33 year old, newly single mom from Orange County, CA. No, I’m not a “Real Housewife”, but I’m open to the idea if anyone would like to fund it!

Kidding, okay so anyways back to reality.

I’m a self proclaimed dork. I’m goofy yet highly intelligent, carefree yet a neurotic worry wart, stubborn and determined yet can be a sloth with the best. I still mentally feel like a teenager yet need high levels of ibuprofen to physically match it. I’m probably one of the most random people on the planet. I share what’s on my mind, regardless if it’s relevant to anything. I’m an insomniac. Surely, nothing to do with the 3-4 blue Monsters I drink in a day. (I know, I know.) I have an unhealthy addiction to collecting smart ass e-cards and sending them to my friends. I am easily amused and crack myself up. I think I’m pretty damn entertaining and witty. Not a day goes by where I don’t make someone laugh. Yes, I was/am that awkward girl growing up that used sarcasm to distract from the fact I was a chunky nerd with a bad perm, and have the fashion sense of a goat. I am a happy person. My face normally hurts by the end of the day from smiling. Even in the brief moments the Wasband (I splain below) manages to piss me off to no end, there is always something or someone that will make me smile.
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