I’m finding myself feeling like I’m in a fog. A bit of a “fog of denial” you could say. Every day I truck on, making it through to the next, trying to stay positive that life has to begin to improve soon. Yet it’s becoming harder and harder to stay positive at times. Tonight being one.
I am extremely nostalgic. I can go through old photos I’ve seen a million times, watch clips of my boys when they were tiny a million times, music, movies, etc. I live for that stuff, or, I used too. Today has been one of those days where I have looked at old pictures, watched old home videos, and it all made me smile until I stopped and reality hit. My life will never be the same. I will never have the relationships with so many people I dearly loved for so many years. It sucks. It makes looking at all these past happy times, that always gave me the good ole warm fuzzies, now filling me with a gut churning sadness.